Try, try till you fail...

In 2008, I lost the college debate for the first time in 9 years. Later that day I got a text message from one of my teachers. It simply said: "It is good to lose sometimes". I have never forgotten that message till today.

Failure sometimes can be more important than success. Failure spurs us to improve, to rectify our shortcomings. Failure is important. Like we learn from our physical bruises, emotional failure is also a great teacher.

Perhaps, failure is a crucial rite of passage, a part of growing up. I remember my numerous failures over the years with alarming accuracy.Ive come to the conclusion that it is important, perhaps necessary, to have these failures.

I wonder if those who have never failed an exam, know what it feels like? The crushing imploding feeling within. The shame, the anger. The grit and the resolve that follows. And the sweet success, almost akin to revenge.

I remember losing friends. Sometimes due to my own mistakes,at other times not so. Now I'm a little more careful, more circumspect.

What about matters of the heart then? This is perhaps the most important failure that one needs to experience in life. Only someone who has experienced this will understand what I mean. This failure can change you completely. It brings you to a fork on the road where you can go in one of many directions. It may give you inner strength. It may make you a hard cynic. Or make you lose the faith. It may crush you. Or it may lift you. But all these roads eventually make you a better person.You realize the value of the person you are with. Just maybe, you swallow the angry ,harsh sentence that has come to the tip of your tongue. If you do, thank your stars. Thank your past.

I have nothing against you if you haven't tasted failure before. In fact, all the more power to you. But life isn't all about the wins, the No.1s, the successes.

Failures have their own place in the grand scheme of things. HE knows it. After all, HE designed it.

Remember the time ?

During the day, I find myself thinking about the days gone by. I compare. I reflect. I wish. I regret. Why do I have so many memories? And why do I keep going back to them?

Someone recently told me that 'Nostalgia' is an exaggerated recollection of past events. Later that day I thought about it.

I realized that events that were not so significant when they actually appeared, may seem earth shattering now. Emotions that were under control then, may boil over now. Good people become super people, bad people become really nasty villains.

Then a part of me begged to differ. I remembered breaking down on the last of my Internship in college. That was real. As was the Oath Ceremony.

I remembered when I had said goodbye to someone, never to see that person again. The hurt was real. The day I got my first salary. The pride was real.

The relief when my MDS exam was over. The first day of the new job. Thrill. Excitement. Nervousness. Yes I had felt it all. Just the way I remember now.Not exaggerated.

I remembered a thousand other things. Overwhelming. But welcome.

Memories are wonderful. I like them more than dreams. Memories are real. Believable. Possible. They are also a reality check. Warnings. "Go slow on this corner.You tore your ligament on this turn, remember ? "

Maybe I look back at the yesteryears because life isn't as emotionally topsy-turvy now. Maybe it will never be.

But my memories will live on. Undiminished, unabated. And on and on and on...

What about you?

Much ado about...

Why do we compromise on the more important decisions in life rather than the lesser important ones? Ive tried hard but I have been unable to come up with the answer. I might spend months researching the best mp3 player/phone that costs about ten thousand rupees, and spend about a fortnight-month deciding on a new car.

Is there some weird kind of reverse psychology at work here? Its gets even more mind boggling when it comes to an arranged marriage scenario. About 3-4 meetings and pooooooof... you are expected to come up with a YES or NO. Worse, you can always buy a new mp3 player, but a getting a new life partner isn't that easy.One explanation may be that the monetary value of an object may not be the same as the importance we attach to it in our minds. If you ask me honestly, my mp3 player is as/more important to me than my car.

But that's me.

I spoke to my colleague about this and he had a very interesting take. He said that it is our natural reaction to fear big decisions. Big choices. Our subconscious tells us that if we take too much time, some negativity might creep in and we may make the wrong choice.There are so many more normal people out there who think they have made a wrong choice about their professions/new houses/life partners/cars, but they are proud of their latest watches/phones/music systems/plasma TVs.

However, I wonder if what Ive noticed, applies to people who are detached from materialistic things. Maybe they get a bigger kick about the perfect Yoga Mat or the perfect green salad. All the more power to them.

As for me, I'm going to take my own sweet time !